Down With Dubbed: Card Captor Sakura
by Pheonix Moon
Summary: Hehe, a spazzy little rant fic by yours truely. DOWN WITH THE DUBBED! Chapter 3 posted-written by Lady Cassy this time!
1. Default Chapter

Author's Note #1: Bout time a good rant fic cam along! Ok, it may not be very good, but I promise a few laughs at least. My cousin Chi-chan & I are both in this (Cause we're special.) so if ya don't like it, GET OVER IT! ON WITH THE SHOW!  
  
Pheonix, Yue, Chi-chan, Yuki, and Sonomi all sat gathered around the TV once again. How the hell the five of them all managed to get together and but a house (mainly be two of them aren't even CCS characters...) is beyond us all, but they did. So they sat around the living room of the "Yellow Submarine", thier odd yellow house, watchign TV. Suddenly, all of thier problems began.  
"Card Captors, a mystic adventure. Card Captors, a quest for all time..." Some guy sang as Sakura and Kero, and the clowcards went around the screen.  
"WHAT THE HELL?!" Yue yelled. He looked at Pheonix.  
"It wasn't me I swear!!!" She cried.  
"Julian!" Tori said. Yuki looked at Chi-chan.  
"Chi-chan... What's a Julian?" Yuki asked. she patted him on the head.  
"Nothing dear, nothing. Go get some snacks." She sighed. Yuki smiled and ran into the kitchen. suddenly Yue turned off the TV.  
"I'm sorry... That was a load of CRAP!!!" Yue said. Pheonix nodded.  
"Ok, time for me to use my special fruity magic powers so we can go kick dubbie ass!!!" Chi-chan grinned. Pheonix's face brightened.  
"YAY!!!" She laughed, "Sonomi, go get Yuki and we'll go!" Sonomi sat infront of the TV, eyes wide.  
"MY DAUGHTER'S NAME IS NOT MADISON! IT NEVER WAS AND IT NEVER WILL BE!!! HER NAME IS TOMOYO!!! T-O-M-O-Y-O!!!" Sonomi cried. She stormed into the kitchen, draging out Yuki from the kitchen. Yuki, who had a doughnut hanging from his mouth, looked at everyone.  
"What's going on?" Yuki asked.  
"We're going to destroy the third layer of hell." Pheonix smiled.  
"Ok!" Yuki smiled.  
"I'm going to shoo that little impostor posing as my daughter!" Sonomi growled.  
"Fine fine, whatever you like." Pheonix sighed. So Chi-chan used her fruity magic powers to put them in the land of... CARD CAPTORS! The five of them stood, seeming rather annoyed as Madison and Sakura walked up the street. Sonomi glared. Madison looked at her.  
"Mom?" Madison said.  
"NO! I AM NOT YOUR MOM YOU CHEAP LITTLE POSER!!!" Sonomi screamed. Sakura looked at Yukito.  
"Julian?!" Sakura said. Yukito hid behind Chi-chan.  
"What's a "Julian" Chi-chan? And why do they look like me?" Yukito asked.  
"It's a dubbie version of you sweetie. Like "Amara" is to Haruka." Chi-chan explained. Yuki's eyes widened.  
"But..." Yuki looked like he might cry. He jumped and hid behind Chi-chan again as Juilian and Tori came up the street. "HE STOLE MY BIKE!" Yuki looked at the bike Juilian was riding, recognising it as his own. Chi-chan sighed.  
"He stole your identity Yuki-chan." Chi-chan said. Yuki glared at Julian. Sonomi was still screaming furiously at Madison, who had by this point started crying.  
"YOU LITTLE WUSSY PUNK!" Sonomi shouted. She then turned on Sakura. "AND YOU! POSING AS MY NADESHIKO'S DAUGHTER!" Pheonix smiled uneasily. Suddenly, almost as suddenly as an a tornado, Pheonix's eyes narrowed. Julian had become Yue.  
"Oh dear god..." the real Yue sighed. Pheonix marched up to him and, without a word, punched him hard in the face.  
"No one makes a mockery of my Yue-kun!" Pheonix hissed. Chi-chan held up her mallet that she was pummliling Tori with.  
"YOU TELL EM PHEONIX!" Chi-chan cheered. Pheonix stepped back beside her Yue-kun, smiling.  
"I did a good job right?" she looked up at him hopefully.  
"Uh...sure...yea..." Yue-kun said uneasily.  
"YAY!" Suddenly Kero popped out of Sakura's bookbag.  
"AHHHHHHH!!! DUBBIE KERO!!!" Chi-chan screamed, grabbing him and throwing him into the pavement.  
"Hey!" Kero yelled. Yue turned back into Julian and Chi-chan proceded to pummel him with her mallet. Sonomi screamed at Madison and Sakura. Pheonix beat up dubbie Kero. Yukito beat up Tori for impersonating Touya. Yue, who was thoruoghly confused, pulled a bag of popcorn from nowhere and watched.   
"BUT I'M THE REAL KERO! I SWEAR!" Kero yelled. Pheonix held him up by a wing.  
"Then say exactly what you said when Tomoyo gave you cake in eppisode eleven." Pheonix demanded.  
"Uh... Yay?" Kero said. Pheonix slammed him into the pavement once more.  
"WRONG! You are not the real Kero!" Pheonix yelled as she stomped on him.  
"WHOO HOO!!! DOWN WITH THE DUBBIES!!!" Chi-chan laughed. After throughly destroying the dubbed CCs characters, Chi-chan used her fruity magic powers again and sent them home.  
  
Author's Note #2: Wasn't that fun kids? *crickets chirp* FINE! R&R, ok? HAI! ARIGATOU! 


	2. Return of the Dub Busters

Author's Note: Here's the long awaited (by some) Chapter 2 of the CCS version of Down With Dubbed. Here is a note to my not so kind dubbie reviewers... GO TO HELL!!! If you knew it was a fic AGAINST CC why the hell did you read it?! To Upset: JULIAN IS GAYER THAN HIS SUBTITLED COUNTERPART!!! I mean my god... He's not gay, but he still acts like it! Haven't you people ever watched Will & Grace?! I can't give all my rants here... Save em for the fic... But please, if you're a dubbie, don't read this. Because then I can add you to the list of dubbies who I put a curse on. Yes, I am a sorceress! *slams fist into palm of hand* ON WITH CHAPTER 2!!!  
  
Pheonix, Yue, Chi-chan, Yukito, and Sonomi sat gathered around the TV as usual. Yuki was munching happily away on some food, Chi-chan clinging to him happily. Pheonix sat playing with the nekos of she and Yue that they'd adopted, and her guardian, Siren. (Who looks like a jet black, female Spinell. she has no false form.) Yue sat watching her, making sure she didn't break anything. As for Sonomi, she was channel surfing. She stopped suddenly, eyes wide. Upon hearing the voice from the TV, everyone haulted what they were doing and stared at the screen.  
"OH HOLY KAMI-SAMA!!! I THOUGHT WE'D GOTTEN RID OF THEM!" Chi-chan gasped in horror. Pheonix suddenly Clung to Yue. Sonomi glared. Yukito was so upset he almost spilled his rice.  
"How do they get Avalon out of Kinomoto?!" Sonomi shouted, "Even worse, how do they get Madison our of Tomoyo?!"  
"The same way they got Julian out of Yukito." Chi-chan sighed.  
"It's back!!! The dubbie me that stole my bike!" Yukito cried. Yue shut off the TV. Chi-chan got up.  
"That's it. We're gonna fix this once and for all! MAGIC FRUIT TELEPORT!" Chi-chan said furiously. There was a flash of light and they found themelseves outside Sakura's house.  
"Can I eat the rat?" Siren asked.  
"Once I kick his ass." Pheonix said. Suddenly Sakura and Madison came up the road. On sight of the six, they tried to run away but Sonomi grabbed the back of Madison's shirt. Sakura would not abandon her friend... Well maybe she would! She ran past them into the house and cursed at them from the upstairs window. Pheonix got on Siren's back and flew up to face her. She grabbed the front of her shirt and threatened to drop her to the ground.  
"Big words commin from such a little lady. I didn't think dubs knew how to say such things. But you are not Kinomoto Sakura. and that is not Daidojii Tomoyo. So I'm afraid we'll have to kill you. but first. Keorberus! Get him!" Pheonix threw Sakura back into her room. Sakura cam out holding Kero. Pheonix grabbed him in one hand and pulled Sakura out by the other. She dropped her, laughing as she lay twisted in pain on the ground. Siren landed.  
"You have one last chance Keorbrus, to save your kind." Siren said. Kero looked at her timidly as she licked her lips. "What is his name?" She motioned to Yukito who was cursing off Sakura.  
"J-Julian?" Kero said. siren smirked.  
"Nope!" Siren laughed. Pheonix let go of Kero. But before he could fly away, Siren ate him.  
"YOU ARE NOT MY DAUGHTER WHO I'VE RAISED TO BE AS WONDERFUL AS NADESHIKO WAS!" Sonomi pulled a giant malled form nowhere and bashed Tomoyo wiht it. As Tori and Julian rode up, they gasped at what they saw. They ran up to try and save the reaminder of their sorry ass dubbie cast. But as soon as he was close enough, Yuki and Chi-chan jumped Julian. Yue took down Tori. And as Chelsea, Nikki, and Rita came around Pheonix and Siren were after them. Soon enough Li arrived and he got caught in the fight too.  
After four hours of mass chasos, the six stepped away from the bloody dubbies, smiling at their work. The mass of hurt dubbies that lay before them would cause no more problems to them. Though now they'd need to find other means of "entertainment". Chi-chan sent them back home and they all sat on their bean bag chairs eating bowls of rice and won-ton soup. (WON-TON RULES!!!)  
"I think that went nicely." Yuki said.  
"Kero gave me indigestion... Who's got some TUMS?" Siren asked. Everyone laughed. Hopefully their problems were over...  
  
Author's note: Who loved it? Come on! ^_~ Peace untill next time! 


	3. Lady Cassy's Dubbie Rant

This is the author Nikele-chan speaking. Pheonix let me write this. *AHEM* Attention all readers: This is a rant about dubbies, with a little scene that I added to the fic at the end. IF YOU DISAGREE WITH MY OPINIONS, LOOK UP MY AUTHOR PROFILE AND FLAME ONE OF THOSE STORIES! DO NOT FLAME PHEONIX'S STORY JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE ME! I AM NOT PHEONIX!  
  
Now, for those of you who haven't read my review, here is what it says, and I mean every word of it. This goes out to all the dubbies who like Cardcaptors better than Card Captor Sakura.  
  
OBVIOUSLY you have never really WATCHED CCS, or else you wouldn't be such morons. Yes, CC is okay, and I suppose it's entertaining, but if you dislike the subbed, well then you must be incapable of reading. I can see no other way that you would dislike CCS. So what if there are guy/guy girl/girl relationships?! WHAT DO YOU THINK 'AMARA' AND 'MICHELE' ARE?! They sure as hell aren't cousins!  
  
OH YES everyone! Amara, who is really Haruka, and Michele, who is really Michiru, are in love. GET OVER IT! There are homosexual relationships in almost every anime out there, but you dubbies don't know it because you choose to shun anything that is different that what you are used to. Just because you are heterosexual doesn't mean that everyone who isn't is a sick, perverted, lower class human. THIS IS AFRICAN-AMERICANS ALL OVER AGAIN! We are all equal, no matter what we are. IT IS IN THE CONSTITUTION! So get over it! Homosexual relationships will always exist, whether you want them to or not! Note: I am NOT a lesbian, I just have been brought up to respect everyone for his or her own decisions.  
  
Here's another thing. Tori. Think about it. Tori is short for Victoria. Therefore it is a girl's name. When they dubbed CCS, they gave Touya a GIRL'S NAME. What is up with that?! I have a cousin named Tori, and two friends named Vici and Vicky. I was going to be named Victoria, but my parents changed their minds and named me Sandra. I know the name Victoria. TORI IS A GIRL'S NAME! I would rant about Julian too, because it is a really gay name, but it is a boy's name, so therefore my ranting would not be justified.  
  
Okay, I'm sorry but I have to rant on Julian. HOW DO THEY GET JULIAN STAR FROM YUKITO TSUKISHIRO? At least Tori sounds like Touya. And I can even go so far as to accept the whole Syaoran Li to Li Showron thing. But how do the get MADISON TAYLOR from TOMOYO DAIDOUJI? And Sonomi doesn't even get a name in the dubbed! Then there's Avalon. How does "Avalon" resemble "Kinomoto"? Aiden = Fujitaka? I think not. And what about poor Sakura? They made her into SAKOORA. It's a U not an OO!  
  
Here I am on the relationship level again. Chiharu and Takashi. Sakura and Syaoran. When it was dubbed, Chiharu and Takashi were made cousins instead of boyfriend and girlfriend. As for S+S, in the dubbed, they completely cut out the airport scene. It was the best part of the whole season, and they cut it out. The whole Syaoran bear thing was cut out. The part where Syaoran tells Sakura he loves her is gone. EVERY SINGLE SAKURA & SYAORAN MOMENT HAS BEEN CUT OUT! IT IS NOT FAIR!  
  
And what about the Hope Card at the end of CC? THE HOPE CARD IS FROM THE SECOND MOVIE! Sakura is supposed to make the LOVE card in the last episode! By taking out all the S+S moments and then putting in the Hope Card at the end, it is completely confusing. The Love Card is supposed to show Sakura that she really does love Syaoran, even though she told him she didn't know. WHY WOULD SHE HAVE THE HOPE CARD IF SHE HAS NOTHING THAT SHE HAS TO HOPE FOR?!  
  
And here I go with the episodes. How did they go from 70 episodes to 39? The cut out A LOT of the episodes, and a lot of times she had flashbacks in the dubbed of episodes that were never dubbed to begin with! She would suddenly have a card that she didn't have in the 'previous' episode, and a lot of it was very confusing. And you call CCS confusing?! The dubbed series starts with episode eight! And it tends to jump around a lot. You never meet Sakura's great-grandfather! That is one of the best episodes!  
  
Well that's all for my rant FOR NOW. Here's the little scene I promised.  
  
~  
  
Siren flew around Eli's house angrily. Finally, a small creature came out. "What do you want?" it asked. Siren glared at Spinner. With one quick snap of her jaws, Siren killed and ate Spinner. She grinned happily and flew back to everyone else, picking up some Pepto-Bismol on the way after her stomach rumbled loudly. Part A of Plan 'Destroy Eli Moon' was complete. Next was Ruby, and then Eli would be all alone, unprotected. The plan was well on its way to completion. Siren tossed the empty industrial size Pepto- Bismol bottle in a trash can as she passed it. Pheonix and Chi-chan would be very pleased with Siren's success.  
  
~ 


End file.
